Finishing well

How do you deal with the death of your loved one? I have been lucky not to be in those shoes yet, so I cannot relate much.

My mum’s friend passed away very recently from breast cancer. I wonder how she feels.

Do we mourn about loss of a dear one or do we celebrate in knowing that they have returned to the Lord (assuming the person believes in Christ)?

I remember someone sharing that she planned her own funeral, at a young age, say 20 years plus. No, she is not dying from a terminally ill disease. But she wants to imagine how she ends in life. She says she thinks of what words would be used to describe her in her “tombstone”. In other words, the words will describe how you end and are remembered by.

We are always told to start the race of life well and also along the way. Our parents guide us, provide for us, and educate us in doing well in life.

However, no one teaches or talks about ending/ finishing your life well. No one tells us aging is beautiful. No one talks about choosing your funeral songs or food like in weddings. It is more of an unexpected event which eventually all of us have to face. (The most I have heard is buying a plot for your burial or place to your ashes)

Nowadays, people do talk about what to do with your body when you died like: scattering your ashes in the sea or in the space, or many more unique and outrageous request to popularize yourself when you die.

But they don’t talk about you; yourself finishing your life well. Would you suddenly upon finding death is near, go on a last-fling to do all the things you wanted to do in life but never did? Refer to Bucket List entry.

First of, how would I want my funeral to be like? I hope not too pricey. After all, I won’t be here anymore and I don’t want my money wasted like that. Better use it for a better cause like buying ice-cream for children in the orphanage or going to the fund which research on incurable diseases. If not, normally, divided equally to the next of kin.

Second, would I want my body to be buried or cremated? I am not sure. Never think of it to that extend. As I have never attended any funeral or wake, I am not to sure what exactly is normally done.

Thirdly, would I want to die before or after my spouse? My other half now vehemently claims he will die first because of me while I threaten him not to leave me alone. Only God knows the right time and who are we to fuss and object?

Fourthly, who shall I invite? Hmmm… whoever of my friends who are still alive, assuming I die an old age. Actually, I don’t really care. I won’t be there to see them. Ha! (Don’t have to entertain guests)

Lastly, most importantly, what will the obituary says? What would my “tombstone” say? (Assuming there is one which I doubt so… being buried sounds creepy. Like buried alive)

That, I won’t write here. You can share your description of me. That will give me some ideas. After all, we think of ourselves through other people’s eyes and perception.

(I have to think through of this too…)

Therefore, as we start the race in this life with a bang, we should remember to finish well too. :)