Monday, June 23, 2008

"Martians" and "Venusians"

I finally got hold of an audio book for Men are from Mars and Women is from Venus. This is the summary of what I managed to grasp.


Basically, men are supposedly from Mars. These Martians have the following attributes:
1. Martians are problem-solvers.
2. Under stress, they get more focused.
3. When they get upset, they withdraw into their "cave" to find own solution.
4. Martians need to feel that they are trusted.

What are Martians' primary needs?
1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Appreciation
4. Approval
5. Encouragement
6. Admiration

Because of the above attributes, these are the problems they face with women.
1. Whenever women are upset and complain, men will give solutions instead of listening to them.
2. They will walk away or say nothing; making women feel insecured.
3. They listen and get angry when women don't listen to their advice; making women feel that men don't respect them.

Women are supposedly from Venus. They have the following characteristics:
1. Emotional beings.
2. Under stressed, emotionally involved.
3. When they get upset, Venusians share their problems in detail.
4. Venusians need to feel that they are supported.

What are Venusians' primary needs?
1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance

Therefore, Venusians will face problems with men as follows:
1. They like to give unsolicited advice to men even though they never asked for it.
2. They try to help and improve men's behaviour; making men feel not trusted
3. They don't acknowledge what men has accomplish or done but complain about what he did not do; making men feel unappreciated.
4. They correct mens' behaviour and tell them what to do; making men feel not admired.

If this is true, no wonder Martians marry Martians, and Venusians marry Venusians these days. You would supposedly understand your own kind better. But if Adam married Adam, and Eve marry Eve.... hmmm? Meaning they would need artificial insemination and sperm/ovum banks in those days? Or would human beings evolved into some being who are unisex?

In a way, some points given by Grey does make sense about behaviours of the different sexes in any kind of relationship. But we shouldn't stereotype everyone based on his formula blindly.

The main points which I would remember are Women need to trust Men, and Men need to support Women.

Oh well, in the meantime, I pledge to be a Venusian who will not give unsolicited advice but support, trust, accept, appreciate, encourage and admire my Martian instead. :D

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