I never expected time to fly by so quickly. My colleague smartly remarked that “Time flies faster especially after you become 25 years old.”
We are reminded not to feel too attached to this world. I quote Matthew 6:19-21,
”Do not store up for yourselves treasures on the earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
After all, it is a temporary life we have here. I remember this ironic statement which goes like this, “The day we are born is the day we start dying.” Hence, we were always told this: “Carpe Diem! Seize the day and live life to the fullest.”
I thought I was a quite organized person who put goals and resolutions with some idea or strategy to reach my goal. Of late, I don’t really feel that way any longer. It feels like as if I have given up on myself and it is scary. To think that, I don’t feel a need to be organized and planned anymore. I have asked myself, “What is the used? You try your best but things never go as planned. You are not in control.”
This year, I realized that I have been waiting for the past few years. It was a silly little girl’s dream. Even though, we think we are not in control, the decisions we make is by us. We cannot blame “karma” or “luck”. It happens because we want it to happen or we try to make it happen.
As I try not to look back at the past but only reflect on my accomplishment, I noticed it is not impressive at all. I guess that is why suddenly, I felt a need to push myself this year: to try things I never do before, to improve my skills and be focused. For if time ticks on and I don’t appreciate it, I will feel miserable every time I unintentionally reflect back on it. I do not want to be Ebenezer Scrooge who regrets very late in his life.
Now I tell myself this:
Let us be refreshed and not falter, if sometimes we slack back and fall.
For no matter how low our life falls, it has nowhere else but to go up.
During this time of brokenness, seek God and learn to rely on Him instead of yourself and other mortal beings. Only God is perfect enough to live up to our expectations.