Monday, May 11, 2009

Relationships Traps based on the movie: He’s Just Not That into You (Spoiler Alert)

He's Just Not That Into You was based on a self-help book based on a line from the movie Sex in the City. This movie interestingly touches the signs and deciphering the signs of the dating/ flirting game. It shows the story of 5 women; 3 single ladies, 1 in-a-long -but-no-need-to-marry-relationship and 1 married woman.

I’ll be post-mortem-ing this movie to suit to current situations as it really shows the trap women put themselves in with phrases like: “He’s only pretending to ignore you but he likes you” or “When he says he will call, but after a week he doesn’t call – you and your friends blindly say – he will still call." (rephrsed)

Scenario 1: Single lady in denial in the dating scene (bars ,etc)
Gigi is the single lady who looks a little desperate in finding the “right” guy but misreads all the signs men send to her.Alex somehow felt a need to help her by bluntly pointing out the real meaning behind a man’s behaviour.

He bluntly says if a man is interested, he will look for you. You don’t have to do anything.

Scenario 2: Single lady in denial (he’s married but he could be the one)
Anna is a sexy single lady who has a man waiting for her whenever she needs a “pat on the her back”. She felt an attraction with a man she met at the handy mart. He restraints himself by telling both of them that he is married.

She tried to forget about it until her friend relates a story which gives her hope that he is married but he could be the one for her. So it is not wrong to try. So she pursues him and he reciprocates – lying to his wife and enjoying the newfound freedom.

MBA does not mean “Married but available”. As you don’t want a 3rd party in your marriage, be mindful not to be the 3rd wheel, ok?

Scenario 3: Single lady in denial in the virtual dating scene

Mary is the single lady stuck behind an advertising gay magazine who ventures the dating scheme ala internet style : myspace, netdating, sms, videochat, etc. This movie has a teaser showing her complaining that she got dumped by a guy through 7 technology: voice msg, e-mail, text, etc.
I don’t really get it as I never believed in net dating, etc even though one of my net friend always claimed to be my cyber boyfriend – go figure. I never take him seriously and left it at that. How can you seriously expect a net friend you meet online to chat for once a week to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend? Call me old-fashioned but I prefer meeting face-to-face in RL (real life).

He’s already married and I’m happily attached to someone else. :P

Scenario 4: Women in denial that the steady relationship for 7 years does not necessarily mean marriage.

Beth was happy with her boyfriend in a steady relationship of many years; secretly hoping one day he will marry her despite he’s motto: I don’t believe in marriage – we can be together as a couple is good enough. Until one day, her friend pointed out the signs of men – he will not marry her.

So she breaks up with her bf and moves back with her family. She noticed her married sisters husband do not help out and just left the household chores to her unlike her boyfriend. She decides no marriage is worth her relationship and goes back to him. Like a fairytale- he decides to make her happy by marrying her in the end.

I guess guys just don’t like to commit. In fact, many nowadays don’t believe the need for the “certificate” just to show their commitment. I guess without that “legal paper”, we women will still feel vulnerable as a man can just leave/ walk off. The paper just makes it messier and more troublesome. *hint*

Scenario 5: Married women in denial that her husband is not worth it
Janine is the married women to her high school sweetheart. They are in the midst of renovating their dream home together. When he husband cheats on her, being the typical women, she blames herself for playing a part of him needing to cheat. He tells himself he didn’t have a chance to “try” the other ladies around since she is the one who forced him to marry.

Ladies – if a man cheats on you, it is his own lust at play which he himself did not restraint. Don’t fool yourself in thinking it’s your fault for not being sexy, pretty, thinner, and voluptuous, etc for the man.


Based on my limited dating experience (yes, I am such a wallflower… sniff), I never really felt anything when I go out with my guy friends until my girlfriends started pointing out the “meaning” the signals he emits i.e. “He’s calling you means he’s interested in you”, “he brought you out to eat Japanese means he’s in to you”, etc.

Then that’s when you start being in denial to what your initial true feelings told you at the very beginning, “He is just not that into you”.


Oh yes, and of course, be fearful and hide your men because there might be a sexy voluptuous “Scarlett Johanson” out there to steal your husband right under your nose!!

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