Surrendering to God?

What happens when you think you have too much challenges?
I love this quote which my senior pastor always says "Hard peanut makes good peanut butter".


I was down and angry last few days due to my sibling dispute. Yes, I am always the black sheep in my family because I am not a "doctor" and traditionally, my family prefers boys over girls. Boys in my family always get away with everything: don't have to do housework, get to go school excursions, get to have late night outings and never get scolded. (My parents made me wished I was borned a son when I was in primary school). At first, I thought maybe they are being over protective because I am a girl... sigh, denial is not a good thing. Even after 3 decades, the proof is still there but I got conned into this phrase my mum claims "I treat all three of you equally".


So yes, even though it doesn't make sense, even thought my brothers are wrong, my parents will always side my brothers.

I was so upset because already knowing this, I asked my father to intervene the already rudeness (no choice was told to accept it by my father to avoid a quarrel....) and now emotional harrassment from my younger brother.

My father said don't involve him and leave him alone.

I feel like running away. I feel so powerless. My hubby cannot do anything and I am forced to accept this because I NEED my parents help to look after my son.

Why?
Because I don't earn enough to get a full-time maid like most people do.

What IF I get a maid?
I don't have my own house to place the maid because I am currently "squatting" with my parents.

Why don't have my own house?
Because my hubby believed anywhere else NOT in KL is not a decent location to stay. So out place is in KL.

Why are we staying with my parents?
IRONICALLY, because my hubby got a job half hour away from my parents house.

Why didn't we get another place in Klang?
Because price has increase when my pay gets more decent and basically I have TOO much financial commitments now to afford an almost million dollar house.

Why don't I get an older house within my budget?
Because it will be too far from my parents place for them to ferry and fetch my son and I might end up needing to fork out more money for renovation.

Why am I making so many excuses?
Because I am man. I am full of sins. I am shameless and I never learn to seek God's help. So yes, God, I have never really been touched by You and now I seek your guidance in my inner turmoil.

Why oh why?
I don't know anymore. I am tired physically, emotionally.... What can I do?

I tried running away... finding another place to move out.. Finances is killing me.. My mum would say it wouldn't be a problem if you marry rich.. D'oh

Well, let me pray about it then? ....

Celebrating Christmas with a Toddler

I felt the need to bring my son to public places or where there are more people. Alas, I can’t help that he has no cousins his age to play with and is always surrounded by adults. 

The most I thought, perhaps we can bring him to the crowd to feel the festivity of the moment.

In fact, not sure about other single child, my heart aches when I see him trying to trod after other children playing in shopping malls but they never bothered with him. (why should they with an unknown kid?) We tried sending him to Kindermusic which is just a 45minutes session with some other children his age but half the time, it takes him to warm up and get used to the classes.

We haven’t manage to attend church regularly for his sake to make more friends so attending church with no friends is also a little sad for a lonely child.

However, I do hope he will not grow up feeling lonely. Young children have so much hope, joy and excitement within them that their eyes just sparkle with so much energy. I love looking into the eyes of my son and see his expression to all the “firsts” things he see and experiences he go through.

We adults have live a jaded realistic life and forgot how to sit back and experience the moment. While I am busy cleaning around my son, I try to take time and sit back and look at him smile, grin, laugh and throw a tantrum in frustration when the duplo parts doesn’t come out… and wish life was more simple sometimes.

I wish this Christmas a blessed, joyous one with lots of laughter to every single child (even adults with their forgotten inner child). Let loose your loud funny laugh. Let loose your need to run into the spray of water. Remember it doesn’t matter that you get dirty, enjoy the moment and live!

Merry Christmas to all!:)

Do take the opportunity to have your family picture taken this Christmas. I have gotten 3 free photo prints for this Christmas season from shopping malls. :)

Meal strike: Picky Eaters

After a week of meal strike, I felt relieved but didn't understand why little toddlers do that. Hence, I googled reasons why they turn down meals and was given these points to ponder:

1. Miss Independent.
The toddler wants to decide on things. My mum has allowed my son to choose what shirt he wants to wear and he happily does it. I guess individuality is coming out.


2. Food taste "yucky"
I was told this "Of course, your son has been eating your plain porridge for more than a year daily."
My son was having a porridge strike.  No matter how we coax, he will divert his head, block the spoon with his hand and if you insist further, he will burst out in tears.

Healthy porridge made from vegetable and meat puree because he doesn't like to chew yet..

Solution: I started offering my food to him so he gets interested. A spoon of noodles and a spoon of porridge in between. Wonder if it is the right thing to do... But at least he is still eating.

Of course, it means I still have to eat plain not so salty, spicy food so that he can eat off my plate.

Alternatively, I started serving some noodles in the form of ramen, mee suah with soup. He seems to like it but doesn't eat much.

3. She is not hungry right now
 I find this reason very true. I can offer a meal to my son and he refuses it. Maybe 15 minutes or 30 minutes later, he will open his mouth wide to eat. Unfortunately it means keeping the food warm or serving it cold.


4. Dinnertime is too rigid
This reason is a bit hard to justify because it will not be a good habit to be eating everywhere. We try to train him to eat in his high chair at the dining table. It will not be a good habit to be chasing him around the living and dining to feed him. So yes, a little rigid but he gets some Youtube time on the highchair during meals.


5. What you are serving is boring.
Gosh... for daily meals, I couldn't help much but I try on weekends when I am not working. So far, the easier I could do is flourless banana pancakes shapes. It takes only 1-2 banana with 1-2 eggs ratio (test it out to see which texture you like).

Mash the banana, beat in the egg and pan fry it with some olive oil. Cut into the shape you desire when you are done.

I have started introducing some jam and butter with his pancakes. Thankfully he will at least eat 2-3 pieces when I do this.

Haven't started other method yet.

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Good luck to other mothers of fussy eaters! Best to remember, for my case, at least he was still drinking milk when he had his meal strike. It didn't help he was feeling under the weather by vomitting everytime we tried to feed him solid.