I know is not really that suitable to use this analogy but it serves best now to tell how I feel.
The bible tells the story of Martha and Mary who teaches us the importance of priorities in serving God. Martha was busy preparing food for Jesus while Mary sat by Jesus's feet to listen to His teachings instead of helping her. Martha rebuked Mary for not helping her but Jesus said this:
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about
many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has
chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
My role as a mother to my son is like Martha. I have somehow succumbed myself into preparing food, bath, clothes, future education, toys, books, etc for my son instead of spending time with him. Yes, he will love me still and look for me. But for the past year, as I reflect myself, I noticed I have become Martha.
What I have missed out with my son?
1. Waking him up in the morning to see his beautiful smiles. He has the loveliest smile in the morning after a fully rested night of sleep. (At that moment, I was busy preparing and cooking his porridge). Daddy gets this privilege and never realised it.
2. Bathing him luxuriously without rushing him off to the nanny... (Morning is a horse-race against time to get my son ready to the nanny while getting ready to work without being even later to work than usual).
3. Feeding him the food I made to see his reaction and new chewing skills he has towards food. (Usually during breakfast, I have to get ready to work while dinner time- I am still at work).
4. Teaching him by reading him books, flashcards, etc. (I no longer have the time or privilege to do that as always rushing for time and if there is any spare time, I would try to get some nap due to insufficient sleep from dream feeds throughout the night).
Yes, I thank God I still am there beside my son and running circles like a maniac near him. But I do know from his lack of smile towards to me (except cries for milk to sleep), that I am no longer close to my son.
Can I change? I guess if daddy is willing to help me out then maybe mummy will not be like a crazy-always-looking-at-the-watch lady trying to chase against time to prepare baby's schedule like a smooth baby's bottom.....
If only.. you know, I do look and feel like the image above. I call myself the pack-mule carrying all the stuff when that happens. Guess what daddy does?
I haven't started talking about my role as a wife yet...Where is that book I bought that has a title like "How can your marriage survive a baby?" .... I wish I could manage to keep my earlier resolution of hubby first like how this blogger did...